


5 Times Tony Failed at Flirting + One Time He Succeeded

by inkyubus



Category: Marvel
Genre: 5+1 Things, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Marriage Proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-09-03 16:10:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8720272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkyubus/pseuds/inkyubus
Summary: Five times Tony used horrible pick-up lines on Rhodey and one time it actually worked.Written by @wakandaho on twitter for the RhodeyTony November Bash! Posted by inkyubus because wakandaho doesn't have an AO3 account.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was written by Jihane (https://twitter.com/wakandaho) and posted by inkyubus because Jihane doesn't have an AO3 account.

1.

Rhodey is standing in the kitchen, waiting for his coffee to brew when he feels familiar hands on his butt. “Tony,” he calls, “why are your hands on my butt?”

Tony pushes his face next to Rhodey’s and grins “there was a bee on your butt.”

A moment of silence stretches out because a) there is no way a bee got into the tower, b) even if there were, bees are dying at an alarming rate so it’s pretty rare to see one and c)Tony’s hands are still on Rhodey’s butt.

Rhodey takes a deep breath and releases it, “Is it gone now?”

“Yeah, but I need to keep my hands on your butt in case the bee comes back!”

Rhodey debates pushing Tony away but decides not to and just continues about his morning. His best friend stuck to his back with said best friend’s hands firmly planted on Rhodey’s butt.

2.

Rhodey is walking towards the elevator when he hears Tony calling after him, “What’s up?”

“Did you sit in a pile of sugar?” Tony asks with a serious face.

“What?” Rhodey stretches to try and check if he got anything on his pants.

Tony’s lips stretch into a big grin and that’s when Rhodey knows exactly what’s coming. “Cause you have a pretty sweet ass!”

Rhodey gets into the elevator and keeps hearing Tony’s cackle three stories down.

3.

It’s S.I. Halloween party and Tony is wearing a suit with an FBI badge hanging around his neck. The costume was very last minute.

“Excuse me” Tony says once he is within Rhodey’s earshot. Rhodey himself didn’t put a lot of effort into his own costume, he is dressed in a white shirt that Tony quickly scribbled ‘error 404: costume not found’ on.

“I'm from the FBI. The Fine Body Investigators,” Tony says with a soft smile and a lot has happened in the past few months and Rhodey now understands what the tight feeling in his stomach everytime Tony smiles at him means. For a middle aged man, Rhodey sure can be a dumbass sometimes.

“Tony,” he calls with a smile of his own before pulling Tony close to press a kiss against his cheek.

“And I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position,” Tony mock whispers in Rhodey’s ear before he doubles down in laughter. Rhodey shakes his head and lets go of Tony because of course the lame pick up lines are going to keep being a thing even while they are dating.

4.

It’s Sunday morning and Rhodey has just came back from his morning run. Tony is still in bed, the covers pooled around his waist and a tablet in his hands. He smiles wickedly once his eyes meet Rhodey’s across the room.

“Is there a magnet in your pants?”

Rhodey rolls his eyes “Isn’t the line supposed to be is that a snake in your pants or something?”

“That’s very unoriginal, I wouldn’t go with that, now play along”

Rhodey sighs and turns around to pick up clean clothes from his dresser, “I don’t have a magnet in my pants, Tony. Why?”

“Because-“ Tony starts and takes a deep breath, “I'm attracted to your buns of steel!!”

Rhodey waits until Tony’s done laughing to give him a very unimpressed look.

“I can't believe you have 3 PhDs, man” Rhodey says seriously but he still does stop on his way to the bathroom just to jiggle his butt in Tony’s direction. It’s not long before Tony follows him in.

5.

They’re in a SHIELD medical unit after a tough battle. Tony went head to head with some goons who call themselves the wrecking crew, Tony had lost his helmet at one point, but being the dumbass he is, he still kept fighting and ended up getting punched so hard he lost consciousness… and a tooth.

“I can't believe you got punched so hard you lost a tooth” Rhodey says one minute after Tony wakes up. He had first softly kissed him on the forehead and gently told him what an idiot he is.

Tony smiles and blinks slowly, the effects of the pain killers obviously still very much present,

“Missing a tooth just means more room for your tongue, honey bear”

“Tony, no”

“Tony, yes” Tony says with a big lazy smile before his eyes get droopy and he falls back asleep.

+1

It’s date night. Both Tony and Rhodey had cleared up their schedules, Tony cooked dinner and it has been over all a pleasant night. They are standing by the window overlooking New York City when Tony clears his voice and bumps his hip against Rhodey’s.

“You Sexy,” Tony starts singing and Rhodey laughs. “You Fine” Tony’s voice cracks and suddenly he is dropping on one knee and pulling out a box out of his pocket.

“Tones,” Rhodey whispers in disbelief. Tony opens the box and there is a ring inside, simple in design but red and gold in color, because of course.

“I Really Wanna Make You Mine,” Tony whispers and he is looking at Rhodey with such vulnerability as if readying himself for rejecting.

Rhodey throws his head back and laughs and admittedly, maybe that wasn’t the best thing to do since he spots the way Tony’s face falls. “Yes,” Rhodey says before Tony can move away, he falls to his knees in front of Tony and presses a soft kisses against his lips, “I'll marry you just so I can divorce you for these lame pick up lines.”


End file.
